A day in the life...

Sometimes the simplest things are just enormously difficult for me.

Preface: Like today I tried to buy a movie from those portable dvd renters for one dollar. It was freezing outside. Long story short, this adventure took like an hour, and I came out of the deal with no movie. Guess how much I actually wanted to watch the movie in the first place? Umm, only slightly. But I had commited to the idea, and if I stopped now, I would be a quitter. Nobody likes a quitter. The machine kept freezing up, maybe because it was snowing outside. Probably because I was entering a pin number when it wanted a zip code for the card. So, maybe i didn't read the instructions and I made an assumption. I called customer service and they called me retarded. So why didn't i get the movie by just entering the zip code then, you ask? Well that brings me to the next problem.
I didn't know the zipcode for the card. Gee Whiz, can't a man just get decent one dollar movie around this town? What is this world come to?
It was my girlfriends credit card. Luckily she was in class so she couldn't call me back.
My EggMcmuffin was getting cold.

Why didn't I use my own credit card, you ask?

I lost my wallet yesterday. yes this another of those simple things: keeping up with a wallet. An easy enough task, just put it in the storage device on your pants called a pocket, it’s what most people do. But I fail miserably at this task. This happens on a monthly basis, here is another good example and this is the story i intended to tell before that tangent:

February 5th, a day not unlike any other day.
So, I can’t find my wallet. I’ve looked everywhere, my room is in shambles from looking, my car is in shambles from looking. And I think maybe my life is in shambles “cuz I still haven’t found what I’m looking for,” (if I may quote the anti-Christ here.) Where in the name of Kensington is my effin’ wallet? The lake! It must be, I was there earlier today and must have left it on the beach. Glory! So I drive out there without a wallet. And then I get stopped by a police officer who gives me a ticket for not having a license. (well, that’s a lie about the cop, but it’s good for the story) so, after driving 15 miles, I get to the gate of the lake where i paid four effin’ dollars earlier that day for admission into the “park”, (having park benches and kitty litter next to lake waco now qualifies as a park I guess. Go taxes.) I slow down to explain to the sweet old man my situation. And here goes the conversation,

Me: “Hello sir! I left my wallet on the beach, may I go look for it real quick?”
Old Man: “That will be four dollars to get in.”
Me: “Oh I was here earlier, I just need to go look for my wallet, for like 2 seconds.”
Old Man: “It cost four dollars for me to let you through this gate though so...”
Me: “Yea but I’m coming right back.”
Old Man: “I don’t know what your gonna do out there, or when your coming back, do I?”
Me: “Umm, I’m going to look for my wallet, and I will coming right back, so yea...”
Old Man: “But it cost four dollars... If you were here earlier, where is your day pass?”
Me: “You gave me a sticky note for a day pass, it probably flew off somewhere, I dunno, you saw me earlier today, c’mon!”
Old Bastard Man: “Well, it cost four dollars to get in here, that’s what my job is to do.”
Me: “Holy mother of Hasselhoff, are you being for real?”
Old Bastard Man: “Yep.”
Me: “How am I supposed to pay you if my money is my wallet and my wallet is on the beach? Freakin’ unbelievable.”

So, maybe I’m a little frustrated at this point. After looking through my car, for four dollars worth of spare change, (under the seats, cupholders, the trunk, etc.), all while the ole bastard man is watching amused, I finally find enough to pay and he lets me in. Praise the Lord.

Walking along the beach, the air is crisp and my thoughts are optimistic...

But...
My wallet is not on the beach. This, my dear friends, was not the place I lost my wallet.

As I drive through the exit, I grip my fingers to the wheel tight and unflinching, so as not to give the old man any goodbye gestures.

Late to class. Missed the quiz.

When I get home, I call the credit card company, and I cancel my credit card account.
They tell me, “You will receive a new card in 5-7 business days. If you recover your old one, we cannot activate it again, you must wait for the new one in the mail. Is this what you want?”

Me: “umm, Yes.”

I hang up the phone and reach for my computer in my backpack. My hand instead touches something leathery.

That would be my Wallet.

Yes, my life has become a series of trivial inconveniences...so... i have decided today to become a minimalist. you can't lose what you don't have. oh man, that was brilliant, i hope you all caught that.

; )

jorbs